It’s keeping it real time…It’s been a long week…or a few weeks. We are in a major period of adjustment around here. We haven’t found a childcare solution for the tyke yet. The spouse is constantly coming and going with the new job, out the door by 7AM to be home at an always undetermined time to often have to leave again for a few hours after the kid has gone to bed for the night. Her work phone constantly ringing and pinging. I’m trying to be a present mommy and be there with Grayson when I am with him, instead of getting frustrated he wants to play when I have mounds of work to do. Housework has been piling up. Making daily to-do lists was becoming futile as I never knew how much usable time I would get in the day to tackle them. And, to be honest, I was missing my spouse like crazy. She is often way too busy all day to even shoot me a few texts, let alone call me, while at work. I never know when she will be home for the day and when she does finally step in the door, I flit off to tackle my own work. And next thing you know, the kid is asleep, and we are on separate floors of the house, in our respective offices, working like crazy…as if we are on opposite ends of the world. Not to mention, wedding season is here, so goodbye weekends with my love! I’m not going to lie, it’s bringing me down. And I’m pretty sure it’s a big reason in why I feel so depleted lately. It’s not just being physically tired, but it’s also being not fulfilled emotionally. Who knew our mundane little evenings at home, cuddled up on the couch, did so much for the well being of my psyche! I need that down time to recharge. And I need that time WITH my love to reconnect. To bring me back down when I’m going off the deep end with stress. To lift me up when I’m feeling unsure. To hold my hand just because. To be my happy. To remind me we are in this together, building a life together.
But, instead of wallowing in self-pity about this new way of life of awful schedules for us, I’ve decided we just have to find a way to make it work. Figuring out how to work these changes into our life will be the key to not ending up exhausted, cranky, and totally disconnected people all the time. So, I’m trying to let go of the reigns on my daily to-do’s a little, prioritizing the ‘MUST get done’s’ and knowing what is not essential to accomplish that day. I’m trying to turn off all the tech when I can to spend as much time with my little family as possible. I’m trying to make the most of the time we do have together. I’m trying to make it work the best I can….even when it isn’t easy and feels like I’m getting no where. Because just complaining about it and feeling bad about it all the time is so not the answer here. Having the right attitude about things is half the battle. And at least knowing that we are collectively trying to make the situation better and work with these new crazy schedules makes me feel better about the whole thing. Knowing we are trying to make it doable. Heck, we are trying to make it enjoyable! And for me that means embracing some more spontaneity in our life. As a text book Type A kind of gal, being spontaneous has never come easy to me, but if we are going to make the most of the little time we find together, I need to embrace it head on. So, even though I had plans of hunkering down at a coffee shop and working the day away in between meetings yesterday, when I found out the spouse was 2 hours early for a meeting just a few miles away…I knew we needed to take advantage of the time together. With margaritas, of course! And if midday margaritas are the way to making these new schedules work, I’m all in!!! So, here’s to less whining (on my part) and more trying to make it work with a whole lot of patience and a good amount of spontaneity!