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Keeping It Real as a Mother to a ‘Difficult Child’

It’s been a minute (or a whole lot of minutes, really) since I’ve reconnected with the personal side of the blog, because, honestly, something had to give in my time management plan and the daily personal blogs took the hit. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t miss sharing that side of my life and keeping it real over here, because sometimes I really really do. I love writing and just generally getting those thoughts swirling around in my head out and into the world to share and connect with others. Keeping it real is a beautiful thing, my friends.

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Sometimes I think about how I used to say I could never handle having a child as ‘difficult’ as it turns out our kid is. The kids you see screaming bloody murder, kicking, punching, crying uncontrollably, throwing themselves on the ground, and beating the crap out of their parents in the cereal aisle. But, here we are, and we are the parents of one of those ‘difficult’ strong-willed children. And as much as it can be frustrating, it’s our reality and we ARE handling it. (And learning a hell of a lot of patience along the way!)

But please do not take my attempts to keep it real as a parent, with my quips and quandaries of being a mom to a ‘difficult child,’ as anything close to complaining or ‘Woe is me!’ I wouldn’t give up our ‘difficult child’ up for anything in the world. As much as he can spin out of control in a second and break my heart with his violent outbursts because sometimes it seems like there is nothing I can do to soothe his anger, he can also be the sweetest little boy you’ve ever met, with his rolling laugh and sweet songs. He melts my heart with his kisses and insistence on family hugs.  We love him more than anything, all the same. This is our ‘difficult child’…our bright, inquisitive, and loving (sometimes oh-so-exhausting) child that we are beyond lucky to be the parents to.  This is our life…our crazy busy and hectic, but oh so full of love and joy-filled life. And we are more than handling it, we are living it. And doing the best we can along the way. That’s all we really can do. Everyone has their fair share of good days and bad days. And I think keeping it real is the best way to go about it. Because we all have our own struggles, whether you have a ‘difficult child’ or not, and sometimes I think it’s important to lift the veil on perfection and let the other parents out there struggling know, ‘I feel you, boo!’

So, pass the wine…I’ve got one of those ‘difficult’ kids, but, gosh, I love that kid so much!

Ravyn - July 26, 2016 - 10:51 am

I feel you, boo!! For what it’s worth … listening (or reading) “No Bad Kids” by Janet Lansbury has really, really helped us learn to adapt our parenting a bit more to what Alba needs. Of course, she’s still super spirited and strong-willed, but maybe it helps ME feel like I’m not a total failure as a parent, ha. Sending love.

Eliana O'Keefe - July 26, 2016 - 3:31 pm

Dear Amanda, you and Katrina pass the most important key in dealing with the situation ; that’s acceptance; with informed, careful and determined parenting will help him learn to get along in the world and you both are doing it! take one day at the time… and you know you can count on us. XoXo.

Christy Tyler - July 26, 2016 - 7:31 pm

I miss your personal blogs (and mine too)! Writing is such therapy for me – but it definitely took the hit once the boys came along. I have so many stories to share and thoughts swirling in my head too – and someday maybe I’ll have time to share them again…. 🙂 xo

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