The Real Deal

In my almost 19 short weeks of pregnancy thus far, I have deduced one very revealing thing. That would be that no one really tells you everything that happens to you during this ‘magical journey’ of bringing life into the world. Like it’s a big secret. And what I’ve determined is that if they were to tell everyone the real gritty details of it all, no one would get knocked up! Ever again! So, in efforts to not extinguish the entire human race, everyone keeps it all hush hush until YOU are the one knocked up….and then they laugh and say “Welcome to pregnancy! You just wait! Hahaha…” Gee thanks, I didn’t know this was a real life version of Punked, where the joke is on me.

Now, could I have researched every little thing on pregnancy before getting pregnant? Sure! But, who think to google all the crazy symptons that could occur! Not me! I knew the basics, the big gory ending and all, and figured it was worth it for the miraculous outcome.  But what I did not know was about all these strange little ‘joys’ of pregnancy that just randomly pop up throughout the entire ride! Like the fact that I am nowhere close to pushing this baby out and yet my body is ‘preparing’ for it’s eventual arrival by moving and softening my bones (What?! Yes, softening your bones, eeek!), which results in the most delightful joint pain. I guess a lot of people are of the school of thought that thinks, ‘Wow, isn’t it amazing to think what our bodies can do?!’ Umm, sure, but that doesn’t mean I want to test it and see what happens. (Especially when I can’t self-sooth my ailments with a glass of wine!)

So, those of you that have been asking for baby updates, here’s mine. This ride…not so magical. Not in the least. But as much as I whine and kvetch about the ‘fun’ that is being preggo, I know that in the end I won’t regret a thing! (Except maybe all the mashed potatoes I ate and will have to eventually work off.) And, yes, I know that it is going to get a lot worse, before it gets better, but amazing things don’t come easy, right? And I am pretty confident our baby is going to be all kinds of amazing!

So, I hope I didn’t burst anyone’s bubble and ‘magical’ perception of pregnancy, just know, I will always tell you like it is and not laugh at your expense when YOU get knocked up! Complain away! And indulge in all you can! You are entitled to pamper yourself as much as is entirely possible, when on this 9 month inescapable ride of feeling like someone’s human voodoo doll! So, get a pedicure every week and eat mashed potatoes everyday if you want! Live it up…as only preggos can! (And on that note, I am off for a day of mani-pedi’s and decaf Starbucks with the bestie! That is the best pampering gets around here these days!)